My Christmas Mystery

December 26, 2018

It was a pretty serious case of cognitive dissonance… especially for a five year old. Cognitive dissonance…, you know, the psychological stress caused by having two conflicting beliefs at the same time. I knew without doubt that Santa lived at the North Pole. It was an irrefutable fact. I had seen it in all the stories and books. There were even pictures. But I had also observed with my own eyes, the jolly old saint being lowered out of the attic at the Spring Valley Hall. And I was astute enough to know that at this point in time, he wasn’t on his annual Christmas Eve expedition around the world, for there was not a sleigh or reindeer in sight. No, this was definitely a pre Christmas event, as Santa paid a visit to the Spring Valley Christmas concert. You see, Santa appeared from the attic in a manner that could only indicate that he was up there ALL THE TIME!

I breathlessly watched as he came down, lowered on a rope by unseen elves above. The excitement was palpable as we were greeted with a jolly “Ho, Ho, Ho” and the ringing of sleigh bells. And then, the best part of all… as each child was formally greeted with the appropriate title; Miss for the girls and Master for the boys. Imagine… Santa himself calling your name “Master Denis Hainsworth” and presenting you with a present from his very own hands!

Later that evening, after I had been tucked into bed, I considered my dilemma. Santa lived at the North Pole, yet Santa lived in the attic of the Spring Valley Hall. And as I drifted off to sleep, I was finally able to solve the riddle. Why the answer was simple… why had I not seen it before. Of course I knew the solution. It was so obvious, even a child could figure it out… The North Pole is in the attic of Spring Valley Hall!

Postscript

Sadly, it was only a few months or so later that my theory was upended in the same jarring way that many childhood constructs are. In those days, the neighborhood Sunday School met weekly at the hall. It was after Sunday School one morning that some older boys provided the evidence that my North Pole in the attic of Spring Valley Hall speculation was incorrect. The hall had a room above the stage that was used by one of the Sunday School classes. Some of the inquisitive older boys had opened the hatch to the adjacent attic. Although it was the middle of summer, as I approached the opening I was sure that I would be greeted with visions of a snowy paradise. You can imagine how crestfallen I was to see nothing but dusty old boards and a few loose chimney bricks. No signs of Santa, elves or reindeer… And there I was, a despondent six year old, with a bad case of cognitive dissonance