P.I.C.

October 27, 2020

I have to admit, I thought I was well prepared, but I didn't see it coming. You see, when I retired from my teaching job, I was sure that I had thought of everything. I had meticulously planned our financial future, plotting cash flows and scenarios far into the future. I had considered insurance and estate planning and had even planned a bit of a social routine just to keep connected. But the one thing I didn’t anticipate was this: Upon hearing of my retirement, people would often ask, innocently enough, “What do you do all day?”

I wasn’t sure how to reply. For sure, I had no trouble filling up a day. But how to explain that to others… that was difficult. After giving it a bit of thought, I finally came up with what I considered a suitable answer to the question, “What do you do all day?”  I now announce with confidence that I am a P.I.C.!

A P.I.C.? What’s a P.I.C.? Just to confirm that I was clear, I thought I had better look up the acronym P.I.C., just to make sure that there is no confusion. A quick search on the Internet leaves me with several choices.  You see, P.I.C. could mean “Person in Charge”. But that would lead to nasty things like responsibility, deadlines, expectations and perhaps even complaints. No, “Person in Charge” would not work.

Another meaning of P.I.C. could be Pilot in Command. Wind the clock back about 30 years and I would have been all over that one. In fact, there was a time back in my younger days when I was a pilot.  I even owned a share in a little Cessna “bug smasher”. I would happily bore holes in the sky, turning gasoline (and dollars) into noise and memories. There came a day however, when I had to give it up. A little problem with my hip… specifically something attached to my hip: the wallet! It became clear that any hobby that was measured in dollars per minute was probably left to those with more resources.

Another glance at P.I.C. comes up with Partner in Crime. Sorry but that is a no go, as in “Person Infected with Covid”. What about “Parent in Charge”? Although I am still a parent, you can forget about the “In Charge” part. And then I found what I was looking for…the perfect definition of P.I.C. If someone asks what I do all day, why, I simply say with confidence that I am a “P.I.C.” and if pressed further I add “Putterer in Chief”.

You see, the nice thing about puttering is its varied scope. It includes a wide range of activities. Anything from yard work, to attempting household repairs, washing dishes, heck, even having a nap all come under the umbrella of “puttering”. There are a few qualifications however that must be kept in mind. Puttering involves no deadlines. To a putterer, time is elastic. Whether the task requires an hour, a day or a week... it doesn’t matter. When puttering, it (the job) will be done when it’s done. Also, quality control is not a concern. To a putterer, cutting the odd corner is part of the fun. And finally, the icing on the cake, putter rhymes with mutter, something that is freely encouraged when puttering.

So there you have it. When asked what I do all day, I simply say that I am a P.I.C. It’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you agree?