Crash and Burn!

April 15, 2022

"Light fuse and get away quick!"
Instructions on firecracker package

In the sixties, the little town of Lacombe provided a fine selection of cafes and restaurants. Included in the mix were three of the Chinese variety. The Club and A-1 Cafe were well known for their excellent cuisine while the third offered a different specialty… one that was especially appealing to young boys! During our weekly trips to town, my brother Bruce and I would meander down Barnett Ave, past the J. & P. grocery store and Soley’s hardware to stand in awe in front of the Rex Cafe. And there alluringly displayed in the front window was the most dazzling display of firecrackers and fireworks that any ten year old boy could imagine.

Being a frequent customer, I got to know the accent of the elderly Chinese lady that sat behind the till. “Fi cen, ten cen, tenty fi cen” were translated as “Five cents, ten cents, and twenty five cents”, the prices of the various selections. Since my cash reserves were somewhat sparse, I had to be pretty careful about my spending. Five cents was affordable, maybe even ten, but twenty five cents… that was getting into some serious coin! At that age, it would take a couple of hours of hard work mowing Grandma’s lawn to earn that kind of money. But then again, this was a serious purchase, not one to be taken lightly.  With the decisions finally made, we couldn’t wait to get home to restock our arsenal.

Every summer our cousins would come for their week-long visit. For some reason, their home town of Cochrane didn’t have a source of firecrackers so when they visited the Rex, actual dollar bills would be involved! Often they would go home with suitcases full of dirty laundry and explosives! Oh yes, things got serious with the cousins around!

Mom soon tired of us converting her flower beds into battle fields and we were shooed off to find other combat zones. We invented one particular activity that never failed to delight. It involved building a model airplane, then carefully filling it with firecrackers. If you got the timing right you could light the fuse, toss the plane into the air and be rewarded with a delightful midair explosion. For added realism we discovered that if the plane was launched before the glue completely dried, the explosion would be followed by a satisfying post crash fire.

I am not sure who got the idea first, but considering my history with doubtful decision making, I will take the credit. You see, in order to further increase the realism of our aeronautical explosions we decided to launch the plane from a higher location. And of course, the highest structure on the farm was the old wooden barn. A barn that, I might add, had endured more than fifty winters with nary a lick of paint. The wood was weathered and old. All that was needed was an errant spark and it would have burned to the ground in minutes. Of course, boys don’t think of dangers such as this. Nor were we deterred by the piles of tinder dry straw bales that we climbed on in the loft to get to the highest window. Somehow, the crash drama was re-enacted, much to our delight without the added excitement of burning the barn down. 

It might be argued that our parents should have known what we were up to… but then on the other hand, perhaps it was better that they didn’t!